I was standing outside the Olympia Theater today, waiting to meet the girlfriend. At the corner of the building, a group of tweenagers chattered and bounced around, obviously excited by something they could see down the alley. Then I noticed other people stopping, smiling, and taking out cameras. I decided to investigate.
I walked over to the alley, and glanced over the heads of the crowd that had gathered outside the stage door. And that’s when I saw them.
They were there, withing reach. All that stood between me and them was a handful of teenage girls. I could easily have cleared a path, and accomplished something magnificent.
This is what I have to apologise for Tumblr. Today, I came within arms reach of Jedward, and I didn’t punch them in their stupid cunty faces.
I know I let you all down.
I am, emphatically, sorry.
